so boring

y im here?

i should be buried under my jp textbooks,

my eyes should seen nothing except jp,

all words i say should be jp instead of cn since theres a jp test next monday.

however im here, now, in front of the pc, typing and chatting with frens.

hate myself!

do nothing at home, always.

lack of self control ability.

well, i found my eng is...low level after i read some blogs of sg ppl.

cet-4 is coming while my vocabulary still small...

sometimes i feel confused

bored

anxious

to life

and future.

-

im ashamed i cant express my feelings or mood correctly in eng. chinese edu is failure, yes i cant deny, look at my eng, still mess after learning since i was grade3.

vocabulary, gramma, reading...the only one im good (or better) at is listening. i mean comparing with the other three.

i want to record my words in eng but thats impossible. remember when i was in middle school, how easy eng was for me to learn! those days were the best time to learn 2nd lan i believe, pitty eng i taught then was too easy. if it was more difficult i could remember new words le, my brain machine grows older now, oftenly takes more time to bear in mind.

ppl say my eng is good, even quite good, thats they dont know the real me. or we can say chinese eng is quite good though its not our national lan. chinese play hard in eng, many kinds of eng tests prove that. teacher tells us we should memorize vocabulary books whenever we r in school or at home. "dont waste any time!" they say, in my opinion, its terribly crazy. every high shool grade3 students r required to recite eng, i remember i only write one word correctly while there were 100 words teacher gave us huh. of course i could do that im just a man not a superman ah~

strange im still interested in eng after so many years not getting big improvement, perhaps love lol

ohhhh how i write about eng? i was so bored just now ya.

japanese, (talk about it) which im majoring in now, which would be my side during later years, i cant say i love it or dislike it. if god combined me with jp what i can say? so many ppl around me learn jp le, my aunt stayed in jp for eight years, both two of my sis learn jp and one is in jp company now the other flied to jp twice in order to watch live of her best band, my best fren in mid-school learns my ex-bf learns my younger bro will learn soon my mum learned it 10 years ago......i told myself never learn jp when i was in high school however, now, 3 years later totally the opposite. certainly i want to study jp well...hard and tough... some jp words pronounciation r similar to cn, remember easily; some, especially some v. have no easy way to recite just sijiyingbei.

met a fren this week, same age as me but he now is a slaryman in KDDL, a jp company. sugoii ne! he told me he never learned jp just can speak, i found his jp even better than mine.

so y im still here now?